Why objections hurt our hearts.
If you are like most of us, asking for what you want can be intimidating. By the time we turned ten, many of our tender hearts had been intimidated, chastised, or demeaned for putting our needs and requests forward. Naturally, when this occurred, we created a defense or two as a form of protection. And now the stakes are really high and we are in the sales game where asking for what we want is one of the paramount rules of the game. Some people find out early that they can indeed manage those feelings of fear, doubt, and insecurity to make the request, and if the request is denied, live to tell the talk and ‘make the ask’ another day with less of an attachment assigned to the outcome.
Can you imagine what it would be like to grow up with parents who encouraged you to ask several times, with each successive ask appealing more and more to the parent who might grant your request? Two things would happen…first, you would become a great critical thinker and two you would become a great negotiator because in getting your request granted, the other person would have to experience a win. When they experience a win, you are more likely also to experience the same, hence the term win-win negotiating.
Even if your parents encouraged you to ask for what you wanted again and again, in all likelihood it is still difficult to make those crucial asks because when we ask for something, we are most vulnerable. It is as if we are standing in front of the person with our heart on our hand pleading with him or her to be nice to us so we won’t feel rejected or shamed or small and powerless again.
For instance, if you are a photographer, calling a business owner for an appointment to review their need for new publicity material and to present your portfolio, you are still opening yourself up to the risk of having that tender heart injured. And then your passion for your art kicks in and you amass a list of numbers to call and you do make some and out of ten calls you achieve only three appointments. Your motivation may be fueled by desperation but so what? You discovered the power of reaching out and asking for what you want because you know that if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Because I want to do as I teach, I make cold call as well! And without fail, I feel a degree of trepidation and vulnerability and I want them to say yes and not reject me. Instead, more often or not, I hear one or two objections. That does not deter me because I have an almost fail-proof way to deal with each one. Over the years, I have found that most objections stem from the following six areas:
(1) I have no need,
(2) I have no time,
(3) I already have a supplier I am happy with,
(4) I dealt with you before and I wasn’t happy,
(5) I checked, and your price is too high,
(6) now is not a good time.
After all this time in the trenches, as a Big Game Hunter and Closer, that the first NO is not necessarily the final no…the first NO can become the path to a yes and in the next few blogs I will give you solutions so that you too can increase your sales success and turn that initial no into a resounding yes!