Moving Beyond Confrontation in Sales.
I once had an epiphany, a moment after which I was never to be the same again, when George Adair, of Phoenix, Arizona and founder and leader of the Omega Training program looked at me and said: “…to the extent that you trust others is the extent to which you are trustworthy.” This statement held two meanings for me.
First, from that moment on, I saw myself as ultimately responsible for me. I stopped blaming others for any aspect of my life. I understood its meaning: I can lead my life according to my ideals and make decisions because I can trust myself to deal with the consequences, to deal with life on life’s terms. If something great occurs, I will embrace it. If something disastrous occurs, I will walk through this also. I do not complain or whine, nor do I make others responsible for my emotional well-being. I simply do what I do best – learn form the process and see to it that, as a result of that experience, I am improved in some way.
Because I make every experience an eventual win, I am unafraid of making mistakes. I trust myself just as much if a decision I make has negative consequences as I do if it has positive consequences. I am trustworthy – with me! This resilience means I do not organize my life to stay safe or hear people exchange pleasantries. Not that there is anything wrong with pleasantries; it’s just that I do not want a steady diet of them!
The second effect of George’s statement was that I became less wary of people in general. Since I held myself to be trustworthy, I now began to presume that all others with whom I come into contact were also trustworthy. This did not mean I became a pushover. It just meant my heart was more open to others’ opinions, even if they were diametrically opposed to mine. I still had my boundaries and maintained my skill of discernment. This new attitude, presuming others to be trustworthy, made me more open and approachable. Paradoxically, it also increased my ability to be discerning and decide much quicker if our mutual agendas were a match. I no longer labeled someone as trustworthy or not. I simply noticed similar or dissimilar agendas!
If you notice a tendency to avoid confrontation, then you must also notice that what you seek to avoid is exactly what you are drawn to. This is a law of nature; nature always seeks balance. The balance here would be to neither seek nor avoid confrontation.